I have been extremely miserable lately. More miserable than usual. Time is passing by really fast. I’m five days away from completing my freshman year and everything is just now starting to kick in.

I really do hate a lot of people at school. It’s wrong because I have never actually had any form of conversation with any of them, but I just hate them. With a passion. That’s all I’ve been feeling lately, really. Just hate, hate, and more hate.

Shiloh and I skipped lunch and 5th period and we sat in his sister’s car for about two hours in 100000 degree heat. I’m not about to go into detail about what happened in the car either. No, I didn’t cheat on Chris. And I have no intentions to cheat on him, ever. It’s complicated. It’s really, really complicated.

I miss Ashly. There’s that empty feeling that I’ll always have now that she’s not here. It was hard after she left. When she left, I realized how fucking hard it is to make friends. And how hard it is to like OTHER people. She is literally the only person I ever liked having around. The only person I ever really cared for besides myself. To have every class with someone who is already your best friend, to have such an extreme stroke of luck to have her in EVERY CLASS, is amazing as is. And out of all the people I’ll befriend in my lifetime, Ashly will always be my favorite and she will always be the best damn friend I ever had. Now that I think about all the times I’ve tried to push her away, it’s fucking weird. Like what was I thinking? I feel kind of stupid for letting it get that far. But she stuck by me. Why? Because that is what best friends do.